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Tuesday, March 13th, 2007
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7:56 pm - being anti-civ/anti-technology is (partly) an emotional thing for me
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I feel weird posting this on the internet. A little like I'm one of those prims with websites. But... I'm not a primitivist. And I just really feel the need to share this with people right now.
--copied from my personal paper journal, with edits--
Little disclaimer for those who don't know me extremely well: I talk about being/feeling "spiritual." No, I'm not religious. If you want to know more, get to know me better.
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Time started writing: moments after sunset
Place: my front porch in Somerville
I need to get out of the city so fucking badly. It's killing me. Sitting here, focusing solely on the sunset--it feels so RIGHT, makes me feel so spiritual, reminds me of who I AM. Then I look around... I see power lines and the once-trees supporting them. The lights with their rusted switchbox, not illuminating the ball field that isn't there now, and the tall crane piercing the pink and blue sky like a skewer to remind me why there's no field. The lane of identical postwar 3-families and the top of a highrise in the distance. I hear cars driving by--surpisingly frequently for our dead-end street. But then, there are 30 households on this little block. Perhaps some are going going to and from the park in this nice weather. Here, nature must be tokensitically placed rather than existing as it should all around us--but with its basketball court and playground separated by a cement sidewalk and only a softball field and a couple trees that poke their tops into my vision above the too-high porch wall, this "park" is hardly even that.
But... beyond all of that, in the sky that is universal on this planet, clouds brushed with pink float almost imperceptibly over my head. Their color is fading along with the blue behind them, as it does with the coming of night. It reminds me that places, a good many places still, exist outside this city where one can feel a little more like one is supposed to feel. Where you are surrounded by trees and grasses and natural things. Where I could be constantly reminded who I am and where I come from and where I really stand.
Right now, I will do anything to get to those places, to get out of here and travel. To feel love all around me, vibrating between the air, water, rock, dirt, plants, animals... including those of my own species, who I can physically, intellectually and emotionally express that love with as I will spiritually with all of Earth's natural entities. As soon as I can get my van done, I'm out of here and off to someplace that won't slowly kill me. Of course, that takes money that I don't have.
I just looked up. For half a moment, I thought I saw the sun again and was confused. But no--the street lights have been turned on.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Friday, December 8th, 2006
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6:14 pm
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Let it here be known that Chesapeake and I have made a pact:
1. Elise will not cut her hair unless and until Chesapeake breaks celibacy. If and when Chesapeake breaks celibacy, Elise must cut her hair. Chesapeake breaking celibacy is defined as, well, she'll know sex when she's doing it.
2. Chesapeake will get no piercings unless and until Elise breaks veganism. If and when Elise breaks veganism, Chesapeake must get her eyebrow pierced. Elise breaking veganism is defined as knowingly eating any non-freegan food that includes meat or any eggs or dairy products that come from animals that are treated inhumanely.
This pact will last until and will dissolve at 12:01am on January 1, 2017. It is awaiting imminent blood bond affirmation.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, December 2nd, 2006
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3:17 am - had to
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| Friday, December 1st, 2006
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10:03 pm - GASP! it's ELISE! on LJ! WTF?!
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so, i'm updating for the first time in 4 months because i need to share with everyone how adorable Arnie is.
As some of you know, Arnold (or Arnie or Arnica) is my rat friend I adopted the monday before thanksgiving. an ad was put up on craigslist, basically saying that this guy found this domestic white rat wandering around his apartment grounds and took him in. he put up found signs around his neighborhood, but no one responded. after a few days, he put up the ad because he couldn't handle having a pet rat right now, so the rat was free to anyone who wanted him. i responded saying if he gave him away free on craigslist, he would almost certainly end up as snake food. i said i'd pay him for the rat to make sure he didn't go to a worse fate. hell, there are ads all over craigslist warning against giving away small animals! apparently this guy didn't read them. luckily it was latish at night and i saw it only a couple hours after it was put up. he responded in the morning, and now Arnie lives with me. i like to think that i saved him from being devoured by a snake somewhere... is that bad?
he's super friendly. the first time i saw him he was poking his head out from inside the guy's sweatshirt. he hasn't bitten anyone at all, besides a little playful light nibbling of my ears and fingers when we play. we've betting getting to know each other. he likes sitting up on my shoulders and behind my neck, especially when i wear a hoodie so he can put his back legs in the hood. no more of that though until i trim his nails, they're getting painfully out of control...
anyway, Arnie was sneezing and such things from the time he arrived. knowing (when i do something, i really do it, and i've read SOOO much info online about rats) that rats are susceptible to respiratory problems, i brought him to the vet. luckily he didn't hear anything too bad, it's just a little pnumonia and should clear up now that it's being treated and not turn into anything worse. by the way, the vet said he looks perfect besides his cold, yay! he estimated that he's probably about a year old, and he's 8.1 ounces!
now i have this liquid medicine i have to give him in a dropper every day. and it's quite a task, let me tell you, when i don't have someone else to hold him still with 2 hands--one hand on him and one on the dropper isn't enough. i just finished giving him his medicine... and as frustrating as the 15- or 20-minute process was (all for 1.5ml of liquid!), it was also heartbreakingly adorable. he's just like a child. he'd struggle against taking the medicine, squirming and sometimes refusing to open his mouth... i'd get in a few drops here and there. it was obviously stressful for him. i try to make him understand that it's for his best. and sometimes he'd get away from my grip but instead of running away he'd bury his face in my armpit, just like a child crying and clinging to his mother because he doesn't want to take the medicine she's trying to give him.
i try to be a patient, understanding mother. he's napping now, i think the whole ordeal tired him out.
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, July 11th, 2006
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6:04 pm
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Hello
My name is
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Elise
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I am
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activist, admirer, ally, ambi-brained, amorous, animal lover, artsy, ask me, beautiful, brunette, caring, complex, confidant, creative, cuddly, curious, dreamer, eclectic, extrovert, fancy, feline, female, female-bodied, female-identified, feminine, feminist, free, friend, friendly, full of love, geek, gender blender, gender euphoric, gender expressive, gendered, genetic woman, happy, hippychick, huggly, huggy, human, individual, interested, introvert, LGBTQIA, lovely, loving, me, miss, monoamorous, ms., multifacetted, myself, obsessed, open, pansexual, passionate, peoplesexual, person, philosopher, pro-sex feminist, queer, queer-friendly, recreational gender blender, romantic, sensitive, sex positive, sex radical, sexy, sister, snuggly, sparkly, spiritual, sweet, trans-friendly, trustworthy, understanding, versatile, woman, XX
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Who are you?
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, July 7th, 2006
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12:45 pm - someone please give me a really fun weekend!!
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fucking hell, the office is busy today. i'm on my lunch break. this morning, i got a bloody nose from the stress while i was taking a kid's blood pressure. it's been a really long week.
so, i really need to do some hard partying and intense chillaxing this weekend. call me.
current mood:  stressed
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 28th, 2006
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5:23 pm
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note to self: smoothies involving grapes would be more enjoyable if said grapes were peeled prior to entering the blender.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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2:40 am - An old flame, rekindled
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no, i'm not leaving ben for john uchill.
rather... when i was boarding at csw and couldn't watch it regularly, i thought i was done with Degrassi. then one night a few days ago, i noticed it was on.
i have since downloaded and watched every episode i missed, and then some. i plan on soon obtaining the DVDs that have come out, as well as the DVDs of the old shows. (the current degrassi is The Next Generation. the show is based on a show from the 80s.)
i am sooooooo hooked again. i cannot WAIT for season 6.
if anyone else is as hooked as i am, i would LOVE to get together and have a degrassi marathon/gossip about fictional characters party.
(to the rest of you... shut up, i know i'm lame.)
current mood:  obsessed
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 27th, 2006
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2:14 am
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| Thursday, June 22nd, 2006
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11:37 pm
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everyone acts like they know much better than i do what i should do with my life, and how i should go about doing it. even some people i thought i could trust and count on.
it's fucking pissing me off.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 20th, 2006
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1:55 am
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i just spent the last 4-5 hours cooking for the ASC potluck tomorrow, and life is LOVE.
i am SO looking forward to my life as a homebody.
current mood:  cooking love
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, June 19th, 2006
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12:39 am - more from the wonderful world of links
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| Friday, June 16th, 2006
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3:19 pm
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ow. yesterday i got my wisdom teeth out. it was crazy... they doped me up on all this laughing gas and IV stuff, i was so fucking tripped out... i didn't even know they had started when they told me they were done and took the mask off my nose.
but soon after, it started hurting. and it hurts now, even WITH advil, codine and a little medicinal cannabis.
but i'm watching the animated Alice in Wonderland... which is fun.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 14th, 2006
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1:54 pm - because it's been a while since i took them
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| Sunday, June 4th, 2006
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2:09 pm
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| Thursday, June 1st, 2006
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7:54 pm
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7:16 pm
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it occurred to me today, not for the first time, that, more than any other genre of music, metal is incredibly dominated by males. i want to start a metal band with a FEMALE singer for once. and i want to learn to play an instrument. maybe bass.
i know not many people like metal... your ear kind of has to be trained to it... but would anyone like to do this with me?
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, May 29th, 2006
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10:45 pm
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it's really hot in the dorm, so i took a cold shower. i almost never take cold showers. it was nice.
so... my dad is a huge music geek. i've learned 75-80% of what i know about music from him. and he still has all his old vinyl from when he was growing up. i'm way more into music than my brother, so i've always assumed i will inherit this impressive collection.
now, i was home today to work on my capstone paper. i was in the kitchen with my parents this morning, and i was like, "hey dad, do i have to wait until you die before i inherit your record collection?"
after thinking about it for a few minutes, he said if i finished my capstone paper and had it ready to turn in by the evening, it was mine.
i was speechless.
and i did it.
you have no idea how freak-outedly awesome this is for me.
my wrist hurts.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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9:34 am
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| Thursday, May 25th, 2006
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1:03 am - I smacked your mom because I'm naked.
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Pick the month (number) you were born in:
1----I fell in love with
2----I ate a
3----I smacked
4----I sang to
5----I gave my number to
6----I murdered
7----I shot
8----I gave a lap dance to
9----I choked on
10---I bitched out
11---I did it with
12---I humped
Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1--------A homeless guy
2--------your mom
3--------a banana
4--------a fork
5--------a Mexican
6--------a gangster
7--------a hooker
8--------an ipod
9--------my best friends boyfriend
10-------a goat
11-------my dog
12-------a ninja
13-------the computer
14-------a football player
15-------my neighbor
16-------myself
17-------a Jones soda
18-------a llama
19-------a pickle
20-------a stuffed animal
21-------a permanent marker
22-------my dad
23-------a condom
24-------my psychiatrist
25-------a policeman
26-------my brother
27-------my sister
28-------a baseball bat
29-------a DVD player
30-------a paperclip
31-------my cell phone
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White-------Because I was high.
Black-------Because I was drunk.
Pink--------Because I'm NOT homosexual.
Red---------Because the voices told me to.
Blue--------Because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green-------Because I hate myself.
Purple------Because I'm naked.
Gray--------Because that's how I roll.
Yellow------Because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange------Because I hate my family.
Other-------Because that's how I roll.
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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will_o_th_wind's journal
